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Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
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Review
“This pioneering work opens whole new lines of thoughts and will benefit many couples.†- Bernie Zilbergeld, PhD, author of The New Male Sexuality“Schnarch takes the reader behind the scenes as couples describe similar feelings as well as their explicit sexual encounters during dramatic therapy sessions.... [A] useful guide.†- Marty Dean Evenswold, Library Journal
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About the Author
David Schnarch, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist, directs the Marriage and Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colorado. He is the author of Constructing the Sexual Crucible and Resurrecting Sex.
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Product details
Paperback: 448 pages
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company; Reprint edition (April 27, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0393334279
ISBN-13: 978-0393334272
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 1.1 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
277 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#8,526 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is about much more than sex, and can change your life profoundly, regardless of your relationship status. Schnarch's approach is about personal differentiation and its concepts, if you take them in, will affect every relationship in your life, not just romantic partnerships. What separates Passionate Marriage from other books about enhancing one's differentiation is that Passionate Marriage is sprinkled with frank, and rather juicy, descriptions of sex. Much like Game of Thrones or The Big Short keep the audience's attention while educating the audience about a difficult concept by giving the job of explaining a complex family ancestry or collective debt obligations to an attractive person in a bathtub, Passionate Marriage's mix of explaining psychological concepts, their practical applications and the potential impact they have on a person's sex life makes this an engaging read, as well as an impactful one.If you feel like you're the competent one in your relationships, or that you sell yourself out in them, if you feel like your partner or your family is controlling or if losing your partner would be the end of the world, then this book can profoundly change your life, very much for the better. Not only that, but the change in you can improve the lives of the people around you, most especially your children. I can't recommend it strongly enough.
I’ve read a plethora of marriage books but this one is different. It unpacks the personal/marriage problems that are the root cause of our sexual problems. The author’s definition of intimacy is different from everything I’ve ever heard. I find myself constantly asking “What’s the PM (Passionate Marriage) thing to do here?†The concepts of emotional fusion (NOT a good thing), differentiation (holding onto yourself), and the importance of self-validation over other-validation have made me a stronger, healthier person, and by default my marriage is stronger and healthier. I can not recommend it enough.I share some of the others’ observations. It is quite sexually explicit, though it is done tastefully in my opinion, not for the purpose of arousal like erotica. It also is very long and wordy, but it is worth it in my opinion. I have almost entire pages underlined. Will read this one every couple of years.
I initially had resistance to reading this book but as I got through it found it had great information. It has become a study as the more I read the.more I understand. It has improved my relationships immensely . I understand how i can improve my relationships by growing myself. Life changes when you understand your own needs fully and pay attention to caring for yourself. That has also resulted in my understanding the needs of others as well. I regularly "hold on to myself " in otherwise stressful situations resulting in easy and satisfying outcomes.I will be reading and really reading this book many times. There are.many distinctions in its pages. Highly recommended for couples and singles who want happy fulfilled relationships.
Love this guy! As a marriage and family therapist who works with couple's all the time, I can say this book is incredible! I love his model of how couple's can have a great relationship and how it's starts with cleaning up your own side of the street. If you want to know exactly what is missing in your relationship, Schnarch will tell you unapologetically. Highly recommend this book for anyone who is struggling in a passion-less marriage or feels like they are friends/roommates with their spouse. A must have!
Very wordy. A little hard to read and understand all of the psychological info. Seriously though, very wordy. I was warned about that in the reviews. I mean he goes as far as to describe what people look like, which felt more like a novel. Not just that, I mean he has a Preface, an Introduction AND an Acknowledgements all before he even starts the first chapter. I will say, that we have gotten a little out of it. Like not losing yourself when you get married. That you are two separate individuals. That you do not own one another and that you need to meet your own needs and be able to stand on your own two feet. He has a really long chapter about hugging till relaxed. Still not sure what to do with that. My husband and didn't understand what he was saying. Oh, and did I mention that chapter was 28 pages long! We are not finished reading the book. So I will update once we have. Hopefully, it gets better.
We're 38 now, and will be married 20 years in May. As any married-this-long know, the relationship changes over time, and in an effort to learn whether our relationship changes are normal, I found this book. It was an interesting read. What I took away was that instead of dividing you, maintaining your individualism in marriage aids your closeness and attraction to one another. My 19 year-old self would not have thought of it that way. My 38 year-old self agrees.
This is my new favorite book that I recommend to everyone I talk to. David Schnarch has taught me to stop trying to work on the "problems" in my marriage, and to instead let my marriage work on me. His work has revolutionized the world of marriage/sex therapy and brings important theories to the conversation. I'm so thankful for how this book has helped me grow personally, in my marriage, and in my career goals. I'm so thankful I found it now, because I will be growing upon this foundation for the rest of my life.
What a great book! Dr Schnarch is a sex therapist, but this material address the entire marital relationship. His focus is on how we relate to each other as individuals, how we communicate, etc, rather than discussing mechanics in depth. This book is doing wonderful things for our marriage, and we already had a great relationship. Highly recommend!
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